Love is a Verb
by LaneWolf
Summary: I know it has been forever. I'm sorry! Chapter 4: Pace and Dawson make amends over a brokenhearted Joey.
1. Default Chapter

Love Is A Verb

Prologue

Joey Potter sat on the dais fidgeting. She was nervous. She smiled vaguely at the crowd as many of them turned to look in her direction. The spokeswoman for the Women's Foundation Writing Award she'd won named off a number of articles Joey had published in the last five years. "It was only after her success as a feature writer for The New York Times that the Fiction bug bit her. With her debut book, _Only One of Me_, Josephine Potter shot to the top of bestseller lists and gained critical acclaim. She is here today to read selected portions of this piece. The WFWA is her first award." With that the chubby red head stepped away from the podium, and Joey's slight form took her place.

"Hello, ladies, gentlemen. I wrote _Only One of Me _over a period of two years while I finished college in London, England. The novel sat unfinished for nearly two more years because I couldn't decide which ending was best for the story." She looked up to see interested faces and felt slightly more at ease. "Rather than give a synopsis, I'll just read my favorite parts." Joey smiled quietly as she turned to the very first page and began...

"For most of my life there have been two loves in my heart. Two men. One the fantastic dreamer, the one with a heart easily broken and a dream to fulfill. The other, the wild one, with something to prove, a heart of gold, and the intelligence to get out of anything." She paused as a chuckle rippled around the room. "I spent my time with them both; I spent my childhood loving them both. I spent my adolescence dating them both. As I grew, my loved for the them grew, but they grew apart from each other, placing me in the middle of their battles." The interested eyes followed her as she stopped from behind the podium to sit on a stool placed to the side of the dais. "It was a long time before I figured out that their dissolving bond had little to do with me. So in the end I can't swear this is how it all happened, but this is the way it felt..."

Joey read selected passages based on her childhood and teenage years with Dawson and Pacey for over an hour before she got to the part she claimed as her favorite.

"So I was left alone. And that was when it hit me. I stood in the same place I'd stood a million times before and watched him fulfill a life long dream and I had no idea who I was. My heart, totally whole and mine for the first time in my life told me what to do. So I got on a plane, and flew away." Joey looked up at the crowd. "I know myself a little more everyday. I know my heart and my dreams and they belong to me." She smiled as she read the last sentence and the crowd stood, applauding her. But Joey notice one form in the audience still seated. She cocked her head sideways and looked at the young woman. Later after all the congratulations and the refreshments, Joey saw the young woman approaching her.

"Miss Potter?" Joey turned to the young woman and smiled. "I'm Angie Rapaport. I read _Only One of Me_ and thought it was brilliant."

"Thank you."

"Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure." Joey said leading the young woman to a sofa.

"Who'd you end up with?"

"Hmmm?" Joey asked hoping she'd misunderstood the question.

"Well, I know it's autobiographical, I'm just wondering how the story ended in real life."

A sad smile covered Joey's face. "Exactly the way it ended in the book I'm afraid."

"I'm sorry." The young woman stood and shook Joey's hand. "It sounds like you had something great for a while." As the young woman walked away Joey stared at her and felt her heart shatter all over again.

Chapter 1: Young at Heart

A/N: For the sake of this story I am ignoring the last 4 episodes of Season 6 as they pertain to Pacey and Joey. All that happened between Dawson and Joey, Joey and Eddie. And so on and so forth still stands though. In my mind the last time Joey and Pacey saw each other was when they danced together and he walked away from her in "Love Bites." Everyone confused? All then let's go! PS Thanks to my sister, LaneWolf, for helping my put the idea to paper.

The small town looked so much the same Joey thought as she pulled her new Mercedes M Class into a space across from Leery's Fresh Fish. She looked left and right before she crossed the street to look in the windows of the restraint. "Joey?" She heard her name called behind her and turned. Gayle Leery stood beside a stunning ten-year-old version of herself.

"Gayle!" Joey said surprised.

"Wow, it's been so long."

"I know, too long. This is Lily?" The young woman nodded quietly.

"It is. She's grown up a good bit since you saw her last. I read your book, Joey."

The smile on Joey's face faded quickly. "I-- it was, uh, I mean I didn't mean--"

"It was beautiful." Gayle smiled at the flustered younger woman. "I know Dawson thought so too. He's still in LA." The proud mother looked off into the cloudless blue sky. "His dream come true."

"That's wonderful, Gayle." Joey started then spotted the pot along Main Street that had held the hobby shop for so long. Now it was a combination Toy store and old fashioned soda fountain. She looked at the vibrantly colored awning over the door and lingered somewhere between shocked and amused for about ten seconds. _Young At Heart _the white lettering read. "Pacey." Joey said as Gayle followed her gaze.

"Yeah. It's pretty cool." Gayle said, a hint of sadness in her voice.

Joey didn't miss it. "Never got better?"

"No, honey. They still haven't spoken." Gayle sighed. "It's been hard on them both."

"I know." Joey whispered still staring at the bright awning.

"He's there today. We ate lunch there earlier." Gayle said. "You should go say hello." She suggested.

"I might." Joey nodded and squeezed Gayle's hand as she walked away. "Tell Dawson I said hi." Gayle nodded and Lily turned to give Joey's back a befuddled stare.

A tiny bell rang over Joey's head as she entered Young At Heart. Behind the counter of the soda fountain Pacey smiled at a snaggle-toothed little girl. "Thanks, Mr. Witter." She grinned.

"Don't tell your brother where you got that ice cream okay? I can't have that hooligan in here anymore."

"Sure." The little giggled as she jumped off the stool setting her chestnut curls to bouncing. "Hey!" she said to Joey as she ran out the front door. "I got ice cream, Dylan and you can't have anymore!" Joey turned to watch the sibling torture with a lopsided grin.

"Can I help you?" His familiar baritone asked.

"Hi, Pace." She said turning around to find the smile on his face gone.

"Joey." He nodded as he wiped ice cream residue from the marble countertop.

"Hey." She started a little too brightly. "It's good to see you. This--" She stopped to look around the store. "This is amazing, Pace."

"Thanks." He mumbled and looked up across his store. 'They say after you fall you always come back to what you love most."

"Ice cream and toys. It does remind me of the Pacey Witter I once knew."

"Yeah. Sweet and immature—that's still me." He sighed and looked her in the eye for the first time. "Even after 5 years."

"I know." she started still trying to keep her tone light. "It's been a long time."

"Yeah." He threw his polishing rag in the sink. "I seem to remember a dance and you breaking my heart."

"Yeah, I guess we're about even in that department."

"I guess, but somehow that part didn't make it into your book."

"Ah, I see. You didn't like Eric." She filled in the blanks regarding the character based on Pacey in her book.

"Ruggedly handsome is feckless and immature—no I liked him just fine. That you think of me that way—that I have trouble with considering you knew me better than anyone."

"Pace, everything was exaggerated. I took liberties with everyone. Even Dawson—I mean don't you think that James is just a little impractical and fanciful."

"Oh what nasty character traits." Pacey rolled his eyes. "I don't blame you, Jo." He shrugged. "I blame myself for thinking you of all people knew me better than that." He turned and walked toward the register. "The after school crowd'll be here soon." He said looking her in the eye again. "I've got a lot to get done before they come in."

"All right, Pace." She said slowly before she turned and walked out of the store. The jingling bell on the door sounded sad as she walked out.

_Welcome home, Joey Potter._ She thought with a heavy sigh.

.

Chapter 2: The Great Divide

"Yeah_ guess _Pacey's character came out less than glowing, but mostly it's true." Joey shrugged into the phone.

"Jo." Jen's sardonic tone warned her.

"All right so maybe I could've explained his motivations a little more clearly."

Joey could all but see Jen shaking her head at the words. "Jo, I thought the whole Dawson-Pacey thing was over for you. What happened to Steven?"

Joey sighed heavily. "Changed his name to 'Sky,' joined a band and moved to Seattle."

"Good grief. You sure can pick 'em Jo."

"Tell _me_ about it." Jo rolled her eyes. "So anyway, I'm going to see Gayle tomorrow."

"Tell her I said hello and hug Lily for me and Amy." Jen said as she swept her toddling little girl into her arms and cooing at her.

"I will and give that sweet baby a big hug from her auntie Jo."

"You got it! Call me when you find out how Dawson's doing."

"Will do." Jo nodded and hung up the phone. Talking to Jen seemed to ground her, bring the world back to perspective through brutally delivered truth. And MTV seemed to know fearless talent when they saw it. Though they no longer aired the Loveline television show, they monitored its radio success and were pleasantly surprised with Jen's hosting prowess, at least for most of the show. They were twice as impressed with her moxy when she walked off stage mid show. Within days they were calling her, and in a few months they had her installed in a New York loft three blocks from the studio where she wrote, hosted and co-produced _With a Bullet, _a successful talk show about hard to discuss topics ranging from teen musical tastes to teen pregnancy and drug addiction.

Joey looked out the window over the sink. The creek shot rays of sun haphazardly over the New England shoreline. It was inviting, and knowing she had to see Gayle sooner or later it was irresistible. She threw herself into rowing and was soon at the familiar Leery dock. She sighed as she pulled herself on to the pier. She saw Gayle shove her spade into the winter-toughened soil and smiled. Alexander and Lily rounded the corner and climbed unnoticed into the tree house Dawson had built her for her birthday. Joey smiled seeing the inside walls plastered with old movie posters. She walked across the newborn spring grass and called a greeting to Gayle.

"Joey!" she responded with a quick smile and brief soil covered wave. She pulled her gloves off and met Joey at the porch stairs where the pair hugged and walked inside arm in arm.

A few hours later Joey shook her head at Gayle's relay of Dawson's new movie script. He was in the process of directing the script, a throw back to his early S_ea Creature from the Deep_ days. "Except this time it's alien teachers." Gayle sighed with a shrug. "Apparently the studio ate it up."

"Well, you know you don't argue with one of Hollywood's most successful writers." She paused unsure how far her boundaries extended, but with a heavy sigh decided she had to know. "How's everything else?"

Gayle looked at her searchingly. "He's dating some mystery woman. I haven't met her, but he assures me I'll love her. He's coming in for my birthday in a couple weeks. Then he has a two-month break before he goes back--" She stopped and looked Joey in the eye. "To start shoot with Spielberg."

"Oh my God!" Joey said grabbing the older woman's hand. "I can't believe it!"

"I know I couldn't either." Gayle's smile drooped a little. "Joey, this might be totally out of line, but as he's my son I'm going to say it anyway." She sucked in a deep breath. "He's happy. Really, really happy for the first time in a very long time. If you're still here when he gets back..." She stopped thinking that her point was clear.

"I'll be leaving next Thursday, Gayle." She dropped her gaze to the polished hardwood floors. "I never meant to hurt him."

"It wasn't just him you hurt, Joey."

"I know."

"Have you seen Pacey?"

"Yeah, I stopped by his shop."

"And?"

"He hates me."

"No he doesn't but he's hurt. He never moved on Joey. Dawson seems to, but then I've thought that before, but it always seems to come down to the three of you breaking each other's hearts. None of you need that anymore."

Joey nodded swallowing hard against the burning tears clogging her throat. Finally able to trust her voice she stood. "That's why I came back." She said brushing away the single tear that managed to escape. "To lay aside old ghosts." She started to walk back to the pier when she turned and nodded at Gayle again. "Tell him—never mind, don't—Thanks for the talk Gayle." Joey said just loud enough to be heard over the distance that separated them.

When she arrived back at the B&B she closed her door and cried quiet tears against her pillow.

Chapter 4: While You're Making Other Plans

WARNING!!!! CHARACTER DEATH IN FOLLOWING CHAPTER!!!

A/N: This chapter was really difficult to write, but I did it and the rest of the story should move straight up hill from here, because let's face it there's nowhere to go but up.

Joey waited until she was dry-eyed and clear headed to tell her sister that she was leaving early. She stubbornly refused to call Jen knowing what her friend would say. She walked into the kitchen and waited silently while Bessie finished putting the roast for tonight's dinner in the oven.

"So, you're leaving?" The older Potter sister said without turning.

"Bess, neither of them is going to forgive me?"

"And what about me, Jo, and Alex? We've hardly seen you at all in months and now you're leaving again?" she yanked open the door of the refrigerator. "Damn, no eggs."

"Listen, I love you and Alex more than anything, more than I can even say, but--"

"Don't." Bessie said shaking her head. Loving someone requires effort, action, commitment, hard work, Jo." The older woman sighed heavily feeling twice her age. "Did you ever understand that?" Joey stared at her sister's strained features and wondered at the wisdom that came from growing up too fast. "Watch Alex for a while?"

"Sure, go get some eggs." Joey nodded understanding her sister needed to get out of the house for a while. She grabbed her sister's hand and smiled at her. "Bess, I do love you and I'm sorry I've been taking you for granted."

Bessie smiled at her sister and squeezed the hand holding hers. She ruffled Alex's hair as she headed into the yard where Bodie was weeding the garden. Joey watched her sister spread her unconscious affection and remembered the way it had made her feel so many years before. Bodie walked toward Bess and they talked quietly a moment before turning to signal Joey that he would be joining her. Joey nodded at smiled from her place on the porch. Joey watched them as the dimming sun slid slowly behind them. They stood with their heads together, smiling at some private joke. Joey laid a hand on Alex's loose curls and went back inside to watch the roast.

The moon was tickling the surface of the water when Pacey picked up his phone on the third ring an hour later.

"'lo?"

"Pace?"

"Dougie." Pacey smiled. "How's Jackers?"

"It's not a social call, Pace." A heavy sighed escaped from Doug. "I need a favor."

Pacey felt his stomach drop to his feet. "Yeah." He prompted.

"I just left an accident scene, Pace. A bad one. Three dead." Doug took a deep breath. "I need you to meet me at the Potter B&B."

"No." Pace whispered nearly inaudible.

"It's Bessie, Pace, Bodie too. They were both gone by the time I got here."

"God." He breathed, sick at the relief coursing through him.

"I think she'll need someone there when I tell her, Pace."

"Yeah. I'll meet you there in fifteen minutes." He said pulling on a pair of loose fitting jeans.

Fifteen minutes later the Witter men stood somber faced at the door of the Potter B&B. They looked at one another as Dougie knocked on the door and sighed. "I hate this part of the job."

Pacey nodded at him and turned the doorknob as he heard Joey call "Come in!"

Joey turned to face her visitor from her position elbow deep in dishes at the sink and smiled widely at Pacey. "Oo—ooo." She chuckled. "Two Witter men, and one in uniform. Must be serious." She smiled, but it faltered on her lips as neither of the men returned hr playful banter.

"Jo." Pacey walked toward her and handed her a dishtowel to wipe her hands on. Taking the newly dry hand he lead her to the couch unable to fid the words he needed.

"Pace?" She asked knowing the look on his face. Concern filled her eyes. Sitting with her; holding her hand he nodded at Doug. "Pacey?" She asked without looking at Doug, her voice catching over the quickly rising lump in her throat.

"Joey, about 8:30 tonight, there was an accident on Bay Ridge road. A big rig was cut off by another driver and it jackknifed. The freight trailer swept the road and took out two cars including Bess's truck." He stopped and let her absorb. "She and Bodie were both killed instantly, Jo."

He stopped and reached up to lay his hand over hers concern by her sudden loss of color. "I'm so sorry for your loss, Joey."

Silent tears rolled down her cheeks and looked up at Pacey hoping he could help her make sense of it all. "Pace?" He looked at her tears welling up and shook his head. Doug walked to the door and turned. Pacey met his gaze and nodded. Doug left the pair alone in the B&B living room to comfort each other and mourn.

"Why?" Joey whispered looking up at Pacey.

"I don't know, Jo."

"What am I going to do?" She asked him.

"Come here." He said wrapping an arm around her shoulders. She laid her head on his chest and sobbed bitterly while he cried his own tears and stroked her hair.


	2. Chapter 4: The Hardest Button to Button

A/N: I KNOW! It's been forever right? Well I did have to stop while we were packed up and moving into our new house... which was a nightmare... floods, famine, pestilence.... Take my word for it... I'll write the story someday and make millions (if only). Part of this chapter was written before and now that I have 2 free minutes I thought I'd post it and see if there is still any interest at all in the story?

I really apologize for the delay!  
  
**Chapter 5: The Hardest Button to Button**

"Bess and Bodie loved Alex more than anything else in the world. And they showed it with actions, with effort, with time." Joey stopped and swallowed the lump in her throat as she quoted her sisters words to her. It was the first time since Pacey and Doug told her that her eyes were stronger, less hollow. "When someone loves you they do everything in their power to make sure you're happy. Even if they're not. Bessie did it for me her whole life. She sacrificed and worked, nurtured and disciplined. And on the last day, in the last hours of her life she taught me life's most important lesson: Love is a verb." She took a deep breath. Bess told me: "It requires action, effort, commitment and hard work. That is how I will remember my sister. By loving the way she lived and her expectations that others do the same. She never settled for less from me." Joey looked up at the congregation where many wiped at eyes and a few smiled distantly. "I won't accept any less from any of you." She stepped from the podium and all but collapsed in Pacey's arms.

"Pace, Take me home." She asked him quietly.

"A few more minutes, baby, and we'll go straight there."

She nodded and swallowed hard again. "Thank you, Pacey. As always you are my rock."

"I'd do anything for you, Potter, you now that." He smiled at her as the pastor walked down the center aisle following the 2 caskets.

"Forgive me?" She asked quietly without turning to look at him this time. She was too ashamed, too nervous, too deperate.

"Already done, Joey." He whispered with a steady, strong hand on her shoulder.

They walked to the graveside and Josephine Potter laid her sister and Brother –in-law to rest. She took their son by the hand and firmly grabbed Pacey's hand. "I'm going to need help to do this." She admitted as hot, angry, bitter, mournful tears streaked her down turned face.

"I'm right, here, Jo." He said and wrapped an arm around her waist.

Dawson approached from the door of the church with his mother and Jen at either side. The trio was solemn. "Jo." He nodded at her as tear filled everyone's eyes. "Pacey." Dawson choked out, noticing how tightly Pacey's arm was on Joey. "I can't begin to tell you..." he trailed off.

"I know. " She nodded and smiled at him. "Meant every word I said. It was one of the hardest things I've ever done, but I meant every word." She looked up at him, her eyes red and painful. "Find her Dawson, Find her and don't let go." She didn't turn to him, but suddenly Joey was very heavy on Pacey's arm. He braced himself as Joey swayed toward him. "I wish I had never let go." She said in a whisper before she passed out. Pacey caught her while Jen comforted Alex.

"No, sweetie, Aunt Joey is fine, honey." She stroked the curls on his small head. "She's just really tired."

"She didn't sleep last night."

"I know, baby, it'll be ok." Jen said gathering the boy to her and rocking him gently.

A few feet away Pacey and Dawson worked together for the first time since their junior year at Capeside High. Pacey cradled Joey's head as Dawson helped him get her onto the bench next to the church. Pacey groaned at the pale color of her cheeks and looked over at Gayle. "Can you take Alex for a couple hours?"

"Sure, Lily would like that. She's been worried about him." The older woman's gaze wandered over to the small, now sleeping boy cradled on Jen's lap. "You boys take care of her." Gayle nodded at Joey and regretted her words earlier in the week. She just hoped her son didn't get too involved again. She knew this time would break him. She looked at Pacey. The boy had loved Joey so long.; his love was nothing like Joey's love for him, and nothing like her love for Dawson. Gayle sighed and walked toward Jen. For now she would take care of Bessie son. It was the best she could do.

"Want some help getting her to the car?"

"Yeah." Pacey nodded at his oldest friend.

"Pace?" Dawson waited until Pacey looked up at him. "Take her to your place." It was killing him to say, Pacey could see that, but he could also see that his place would be best for Joey—no lurking memories.

"Right. Why don't you sty for an early dinner while she sleeps this off."

Dawson paused and searched Pacey's face. No anger, no bitterness, no competition. Just compassion for their best friend. He nodded. "All right. That would be nice."

They gathered Joey into Pacey's car and headed off to his beach house. He put her in his bed since he's turned the guest room into an office the year before and hope she wouldn't flip. "Thing we should call a doctor?" he asked Dawson as they headed for the porch with beers in hand.

"Let her sleep. If she doesn't come out of it in a couple hours then call."

"Yeah." They sat in a tense silence for a few minutes before Dawson asked the question he's wanted to since seeing them together at the church.

"You still love her, don't you, Pace?"

Pacey stared into the distance over the sand and water and sighed. He couldn't look at his friend. It had been so long, and there had been no one else for Pacey. Joey was it for him. Reading her book nearly killed him. Dawson shook his head and placed a hand on his friend's shoulder. "I'm sorry, man." The two men stared out at the water. "For everything, Pace. I'm sorry for everything." With that, Dawson pat Pacey's shoulder got up and walked down the stairs and toward town.

The dim light was her first clue that she'd been out a while. The gently snoring coming from the chair next to the bed was another. Joey looked at Pacey as he slept and brushed a grateful tear from her eye. What has she done in her life to deserve such a loyal friend? "Pace?" she asked running a hand over his hair and down to his cheek. "Pacey? Why don't you get in the bed, Pace?" She asked, sliding from under the covers to make room for his large frame. He did as he was told, but caught her by the waist and gathered her body into his.

"Stay, Jo. Just a few minutes. Stay with me." She settled back against his chest and yawned. She dozed off playing her fingers through his hair. The night drifted silently by outside.


End file.
